Questions

I woke up this beautiful morning, surrounded by gorgeous women whom the Lord is calling into their destiny.  And I am in awe of His mighty hand all over the Women of the Well.  I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with them the past two days.  They have blessed me in so many ways.  I saw the ones who just came into the program.  It's as if I am looking into a mirror of who I once was.  I see girls that are about to graduate and fearful of the future but excited at the same time, because the Lord is already showing them His purpose for them.  I see girls who are struggling, and I see girls who are angry, and I see girls who are walking in the favor of the Lord.  And it is inspirational that they get up every morning and continue this journey.  

I remember my 3rd day at Jacob's Well.  I was FULL of questions.  About everything.  What I know now that I didn't know then, is that I had a problem with authority.  Go figure.  The questions about my stay went like this:  "Is this the right time?  Why am I here?  What are my motives?  Where is my connection with God?  I have to do this for 6 months?  Why don't people like me?  Why do I have to do it that way?  Don't I already know this?  What's going on outside of here?  Where is my husband?  What is he doing?  What am I doing here?  Why do I have to be nice?"  And so on.  I was a miserable person to be around.  

Then the Lord began to speak and this is what I heard Him say that day:
"I am refining you through your difficult circumstances, so please don't complain.  I am stretching you to develop your character.  You are in the perfect place for Me to test and shape you and bring you freedom.  Why do you doubt?  Why do you put so much emphasis on your performance for others?  Why do you judge others?  Why are you trying to be perfect?  Why do you question Me?  You can't force yourself through the course I am about to put you through." 

Then He spoke through His own word and I was truly convicted. 

Hebrews 12:15 – See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Proverbs 6:16-19 – There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

And then the HOPE message:

Ezra 10:4 - Rise up; this matter is in your hands.  We will support you so take courage and DO IT.

Today, I worked at the store with the girls.  At the beginning of my stay at Jacob's Well, I could not and would not take instruction.  No way.  Today, I don't cause panic.  I don't cause strife.  I don't cause confusion.  I am still a work in progress, but thank God I am not who I used to be.

I was wrong.  I was way off course.

Proverbs 13:10 –Where there is strife, there is pride.  But wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Humility heals and pride kills.

Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. 

He is not working to make me happy but to fulfill His purpose for me.

Job 42:1-3 - Then Job replied to the Lord, "I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?'  Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

I do not need to know the reasons for everything that happens.  I am unable to see beyond today.  Will I trust God with my unanswered questions?

1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

I need to trust God fully.  Letting Him have my anxieties calls for action and not passivity.  I need not submit to the circumstances around me

2 Corinthians 5:7 –For we live by faith, not by sight.

I still ask God questions all the time, but I am no longer questioning the authority that Jesus Christ has over my life.  I will fall down at His feet and lay it all out and if He answers right away, so be it.  If not, so be it.